I can't seem to get out of this depression.

  • I can't seem to get out of this depression.
  • Depression is back again. I think it’s always been there but some good things that come about happens to change my mood temporarily and then it creeps back up again…sometimes i don’t even feel anything. Just numb. And then sometimes i feel everything. Like i’m a disappointment. To everyone. To my mom. Shes been putting so much pressure on me lately and i’m trying to get my life together as well but it seems like it’s going nowhere. No one seems to care that i need to get my life in order but when everyone needs something i have to come through. It’s honestly stressing me out. No one appreciates the good things i’ve done and how i’m trying. I make one mistake and everyone gives me shit for it. And i’m tired of it. I know i’m a fuck up but I’ve been trying. Sometimes it’s just hard to get up and face the day..I just feel overwhelming sadness and anxiety sometimes…and i don’t know how to cope with it most of the time.

  • Author
  • #9440

    Hey…wow. When I read your comment it felt like I was reading something I had written about myself. The only difference is I don’t have a mother. I don’t really share my condition with anyone. I’ve tried. It’s seems like the people in my life don’t “get me”. I’m always the odd man out. I used to go out of my way for others. I thought if I made someone else happy it would make me happy. Turns out that it got me used and unappreciated and, well…more depressed. Ehen i look back on it i get angry because i could have put that energy into helping myself because, God knows, when I need help once again—I’m the odd man out. They apparently dont know what it feels like to not want to get out bed, to cry for hours at a time, to physically hurt every single day. I literally experience physical pain every single day of my life. I’ve been going through this practically all my life and I still can’t understand just one thing…Why Me?
    I can tell you I understand how you feel. Been there. Done that and still doing that. It’s so hard. Don’t give up. Press on. The world needs more of your awesomeness. It was encouraging to hear some of your story. Knowing that I can identify with someone is just what I needed.

    #9443

    It’s encouraging to know others are living, and persevering even though you feel the same as I do most every day. Thank you, for making this reader feel less alone

    #9449

    VINCE
    I can relate to your depression because Ive had it most of my life. I can tell what helps me the most is getting involved socially. Increase your social circle. Do not be alone or isolate yourself. I’m sure just being on this sight helps. I think loneliness is the biggest precursor to depression. We all need a connection with people!. Hope you feel better.

    #9502

    Going through these topics and this one really hit home. My depression just won’t go away. All I do is fuck up and I’m trying my hardest. That’s what hurts so bad. No matter how hard I try I just can’t get my life together. I’m so fuckin tired. I’m tired of being tired. Tired of feeling this way. Nobody really gets it. I can’t really talk to anyone because everyone is so judgemental. Who can you really trust with shit like this? I feel guilty. Like everything is my fault. Like I’m not good enough. It’s so much and I keep it all to myself mostly.

    #9504

    Dear Dre: Terrible depression joke, half in jest and all in earnest: Why don’t depressives get out of bed? They can’t. That is true of me. Maybe shouldn’t use gallows humor however that is where my mind goes even when I try to be light, fit in, have humor, all that. I am worried for you. When I feel my version of the way you feel, people’s mere presence hurts. Hurts my skin, emotions, thoughts. Makes me feel more isolated. So my psychiatrist gives me anti-anxiety meds as well as anti-depressants (current one needs to be changed). I learned form a college friend that goes to McLean’s Hosp. in Boston every Tuesday, to set up outside structure and to have people like us to help keep structured. So did you eat today? I did not do well…just a slice of pizza and a jelly doughnut (hey, lots of fruit in the jelly!). In other words maybe it isn’t good enough for some people. For me, eating is an action that counts. So you shared here. Keep sharing please. So there. Maggie

    #9505

    I make dark jokes too. Worse than that really. I’ve been depressed for so long I feel like it’s who I am now. My mind is naturally dark. As far as eating, I tried. Woke up and poured a bowl of cereal. Two spoonfuls in I just dumped it out. I go days before I force myself to eat because I know I should. I will keep sharing. Even though it’s wrong, I feel good knowing someone else is going through what I am. Although this is pain and suffering and I wouldn’t put this on anyone. I just wanna be done with all this. I drink NyQuil like water just to go to sleep. This pain has to stop. Thank you for understanding and caring

    #9507

    I am so amazed that others are out there who feel like I do. I have never gone on a suppport group because that would mean to me I can’t handle what is happening, and I can’t anymore. I don’t want to go to the doctors because what if they tell me there is nothing they can do to help… I am so scared

    #9508

    I feel the same way many days. I can admit good things happen but they don’t seem to help my mood. I’m so used to focusing on the negative and i’m kind of ready to heal but am at a loss to know how. This whole post is a wall of sad and I don’t think it’s gonna help so i’ll thrown this out there. Something i’ve been working on doing is when I start to get really lonely I try to start up one of my hobbies whether I feel like it or not. Last time I painted magnets that i’d been meaning to do for months. I think my next lonely plan will be attempting to get a new friend over to bake something with me. Is there anything anyone here does to try to fight back their demons?

    #9513

    Meditation helps me. I am not good in social situations. I suffer from anxiety a lot too. That’s the worst, depressive feelings when alone (and sometimes in company) and anxiety to be with other people. I don’t know which direction to go in. But meditation, focusing my mind, feeding my soul with books and plays and quiet peaceful solitude helps. It helps when I am organized and tidy, I don’t have so much of the overwhelming feelings of my home is clean – that is hard with two kids, three dogs, a bird, a tortoise and a gecko. But the days I get everything done, and everyone is happy, are the days that I can enjoy life. I may have some control issues too 🙂

Viewing 9 replies - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

Join Aepios to share and learn about your medical condition

join our community for free