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I want it to stop….
- I want it to stop….
Honestly… I have been feeling suicidal lately, may the truth be told, stupid I know 😞 and it disappoints me and sickens me to my core of me thinking this way when I know I have the help I need. But mentally, emotionally and spiritually I’m tired so tired I begin to think ” what’s the point in talking about my feelings, no one will listen anyways everyone is to busy or they have their own lives to live and lead “. I’m a grown ass adult feeling like a lost child. But I don’t blame myself. I had to grow up fast and I wasn’t ready for that, no one truly is. To this day my past may haunt me because of where I’ve been and what I’ve dealt with, who I lost and also I may have major self issues that created severe emotional attachment but I’m still being me, the one who is always laughing and smiling no matter how shitty I feel because it’s who I am. I, as a person refuse to let those around me feel anything less than happy even if I’m falling apart just so I can truly try my best to uplift a spirit that needs and wants help.
These feelings of mine have nothing to do with friends or family, at all, whatsoever. It’s just me, who I am as a person. And I do try to turn to positive things but sometimes it isn’t enough and I begin to feel less like myself each minute of the day and I feel completely defeated and miserable and I feed into it with just enough mental pull to bring myself out of it. And it hurts to say that I’m not okay. This feeling just gets worse and worse.
I understand how you feel, I am feeling suicidal just about every day, but talking on here helps, get it all out, we are all here to listen, don’t hid yourself from us. This is a safe place to be open and talk without being judged.
I feel miserable too all I want is friends and supporting people to talk to.
From what I’ve read it seems like you’re a very selfless person and that is enough to give you a purpose in the world. I wish I could say I’m selfless but im not.. and not many people in the world truly are. But if you’re able to put others before yourself and make their happiness your priority even if its weighing you down or if you’re hurting, then you are a very selfless person and you should be very proud. But remember to give yourself time as well. Don’t use 100 percent of your energy on others, you can only do so much before you’ve emptied your energy completely and worn yourself out. You’re a good person. You matter. Please take care of yourself even if that means laying in bed all day. Or drinking a glass of water. Stay hydrated and well fed, you deserve to feel happy. All of us on here are fighting, lets do it together. Although I must say I wish we weren’t *forced* to fight for happiness but maybe the strongest ones were the ones who were given this challenge. Take a break from life and disconnect. Just lay in bed listen to music or whatever, we don’t always have to exhaust ourself. I really hope this helped even a tiny bit. Im sorry you’re going through this, you don’t deserve this you deserve to be happy.
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