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I'm so Tired of Myself
- I'm so Tired of Myself
I don’t know what to do anymore. I was doing so well and then I just quit. I quit college and all the things I was doing good. I pretty much only work and sleep now; work is all I have. I don’t see the point in eating, in having a conversation, or even getting on social media. I have cut myself off from everyone. I even cut myself like I used to, but I didn’t feel anything. I want to cry so bad, but can’t. I’m empty.
Dear Courage: You have courage to come here. You somehow actually do know what to do. You wrote here. You said what has changed in your behavior and feelings. Coming here is getting out and getting to know people. What I recently asked my psychiatrist to do was write a morning plan for me so I could put it on the refrigerator. I am better at doing what someone I trust and/or need tells me to do. Certainly better than listening to my head when I am in a bottom. My list does include eat something. I put a bowl of nutrigrain bars, little fruit and applesauce cups and some of those snack crackers with cheese and some with cream cheese and chives. I also put some little just heat up foods..like macaroni and cheese in plastic mini-tubs that take like a minute in the micro. I do not always eat. However when I see the food sometimes I eat it. Keep in touch. I for one have been in the depression neighborhood even though I have not on your shoes. Maggie
I understand how you feel. I don’t have the energy or the want to do anything and I mean anything anymore! I work and if I make it 6 hours a day I’m doing good! I just want to lay down. Energy is zapped, depression is up. Can’t focus and I have insomnia that has been going on for 7months! I don’t know what to do. I know what you mean about empty feelings. I’ve been hurt so many times and it doesn’t seem to stop. Family distant themselves from me and are not truthful with me. That is very hurtful. I just want to sleep and have a good dream that lasts forever. I dread every day it seems. I get nothing accomplished and I think why? I really feel as a failure in my life. I’ve made many mistakes and bad choices. I’m now almost 60 and I don’t have much of anything to show for it. Always have physical pain along with emotional pain. I use to be a happy person but now I’m so miserable. I don’t know how to get my joy back!! Good luck to you Courage. We can chat with each other if you like. I don’t socialize much either with anyone anymore. I feel ya!
Thank you for responding. It helps to hear from someone different, someone who gets it. I really like the idea of a schedule; I just don’t know if I should ask my family to make one. I mean they would probably have me eating all the time and I barely even want to carry a conversation. Yesterday turned out to be a good day, I actually conversed more and even watched a movie with my brother and grandfather. Today is another day and I am already tired of today.
I pretty much feel the exact same way, but even though I get restless at night lately; I still find a way to sleep. It’s all I have now. I have been hurt too, but now it’s doesn’t make sense that I feel this way anymore. No one is hurting me now. I’m just tired. It’s like I am tired of school and all the effort I tried putting in. I’m tired of my anxiety always feeling like I have a heavy weight in my chest and in my head. It feels all cloudy and I am tired of it; I just can’t explain it to anyone.
I would like to chat with you. I understand.
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